Valentines Day - The Evil Holiday

I will not go to Jared's, I fucking hate Jared's Galleria of Jewelry, in Fact I'm of Good Mind to Hunt Jared Down and force feed him the Shit he's been shoveling to the rest of us!

This is Valentines Day. This is not a Happy day. This day sucks for all people, but is especially cruel toward the male gender. Masochistic at best, the day is in and of itself a contradiction.
There are 2 posible states to be in when encountering this day each year. Either you are in a relationship or you are not. Either way you're screwed.

Possibility 1: You are in a relationship.

The following reponsibilities and results are imminent. Cards, Candy, Flowers and a planned romantic Date are a must. All of these will certainly do little more than empty your wallet. Mind you these are the minimum requirements, the aforementioned items will do little more than allow you to enjoy civility with in the constraints of your relationship for another year. These purchases will not garner you respect or appreciation as they are expected.

Going one step further will likely land you in an equally unappreciated and precarious position. You can choose to purchase jewelry, even dare say an engagement ring. Which will certainly empty your wallet and by choosing the cheesiest, most unoriginal and most uncreative of all days upon which to propose. Besides indicating a personal creative emptiness and lack of individuality, additional rewards include an overwhelming sense of disappointment for both parties.

Possibility 2: You are not in a relationship.

If you are seeing someone or have just started dating. The decision must be made as to what purchase or investment is appropriate considering the short duration and rocky foundation of the new arrangement. Go to far she finds you creepy and you've lost money. Not enough and she finds you cheap or worries you don't appreciate her.

If you have no one, you are forced to endure the constant questions from peers and coworkers as to your plans for the day. Must establish some formal statement for the pure sake of basic PR upkeep. This explanation must be brief, revealing little of personal life but demonstrating confidence. Looks of pity will follow no matter the phrasing of your response. Society will continue to pressure you throughout your day via advertisement, convincing you of your loneliness and apparent need for companionship. Slight to extreme depression can be the only outcome.

If you have just broken up. Now you must be reminded of your failed relationship. As if you needed a Fucking reminder. Except that now you must hold it together through all the questions of the day from colleagues only to tromp home, collapse in an empty abode, turn on the television and be confronted by further abuse from advertising agencies.



Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, all other Holidays are to be looked forward to and enjoyed as a demonstration of love for mischievious fun, for humanity, for family, for country, and for good will.

Valentines Day is negative and alone, celebrating greed, envy and jealousy. Demonstrating the distance between human lives. This is a day of societal war. This is V-DAY.